[ONE WEEK-NO SCHOOL]

everything hurts and i can't breathe
when we take breaks, this always happens to me; i get
caught up in my loneliness and doing nothingness
and its always always painful, maybe because i just seek approval
in people who will never really understand why. i try to seek patterns
and brainwaves and some sort of knowledge and only a dead god knows why,
i don't even know why, why am i doing this and why am i weak?
why do i feel so much and never understand the havoc that i wreak?
its not even havoc half the time, its just doing the same thing they do to me
and having to apologize for it. but i usually don't, i just end up crying about it
and i hate myself and i hate my eyes when they leak and i hate myself and
the fact that i'm so fucking weak.